Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Is my failure really the best source of content for this blog? You Betcha

McSweeneys 3...

When the Evil Leaders of History Met to See an Off Broadway Show

Castro: Hurry up! The show is going to start any minute!

Stalin: Our seats are not going anywhere.

Castro: Maybe if SOMEBODY didn't have to stop to get a McFlurry, we
would be sitting in the front row right now instead of these shitty

Hitler: Seriously? How many times do I have to apologize to you? You
didn't see me complain when you needed your smoking break. Stop being
a little bitch, Castro.

Stalin: More like Fidel Castrated.

They high five.

Mussolini: You guys want raisinettes?

Hitler: Hey, Lenin, switch seats with me.

Lenin: What?

Hitler: I get the aisle seat.

Lenin: What? You're too far, I can't hear you.

Hitler raises his arm and points. He screams.

Hitler: Aisle!

Ahmadinejad: Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

Hitler: Ahmadinejad, I took the liberty to arrange our seating in
alphabetical order by last name. You're sitting next to--

Ahmadinejad: Whatever, I think I'm just going to sit next to Kim Jong-il.

Hitler: Why do you always refuse to acknowledge my hard work?

Castro: I'm so happy we are finally seeing The Fantasticks.

Hussein: Why couldn't we see Blue Man Group again?

Pol Pot: I've seen it 20 times. Plus, it was sold out. This is
supposed to be a classic.

Hitler: Ugh, Churchill is here. That's gonna ruin the whole night.

Jong-il: Shh! It's starting.

Mussolini: Am I going to eat all of these raisinettes myself?

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