Moses: Is that you my lord? I am not worthy!
God: Moses, listen to me. I have chosen you to lead your people to freedom. But you must do everything I say.
Moses: Yes, of course my lord.
God: You must approach the Pharaoh and warn him. For if he does not let your people free, ten plagues will fall upon the land.
Moses: Ten plagues! That's genius, lord!
God: Now listen closely. The final plague will be the slaying of the first born.
Moses: My, God! That is wonderful--
God: But we shall start off slowly. First, I will turn all of the water into blood.
Moses: Blood! Oh, that is scary, that is good! God, that will definitely get the point across--
God: And then there will be frogs!
Moses: Of course, there will be fr--what?
Moses: What do you mean, frogs?
God: Frogs, lots and lots of frogs.
Moses: Will they do something?
God: They will hop. Lots and lots of hop.
Moses: I'm afraid I don't really understand...
God: There's just a lot of frogs everywhere.
Moses: Right, right. I mean I understand that much. Will they..be poisonous frogs?
God: Lots of them. Hopping.
Moses: Forgive me, my lord. But that seems more like a..nuisance than a plague..
God: Have you ever seen a frog?
God: Scary right?
Moses: No, not really, no.
God: Lots of them, everywhere!
Moses: I understand lots of them, yes. You know what, let's go back to that blood thing. That was a good idea, let's get some more of those going.
God: Bloody frogs.
Moses: I think we just need to leave the frog thing behind us. It was a rough draft, now lets move on to bigger and better things.
God: Bigger frogs.
Moses: No frogs!
God: Better frogs.
Moses: No frogs!
God: They hop a lot.
Moses: I understand they hop a lot!
God: Hippity hoppity.
Moses: This is going nowhere.
Moses confronts the Pharaoh
Moses: Pharaoh, if you don't let my people go, a series of ten plagues will fall upon the land!
Pharaoh: You don't scare me, Moses! Ha, ten plagues! From who? You? And what might these awful plagues be?
Moses: Your water will turn into blood. Swarms of lice and wild animals that will destroy your people's homes and livestock. Disease that will kill your livestock. Incurable boils. A terrible hail storm mixed with fire. Swarms of locusts. Total darkness. The slaying of the first born child! And...um...one other thing I can't really seem to recall--oh thats right..um..(mumbles) frrggss.
Pharaoh: What was that last one?
Moses: (mumbles) frrgss.
Moses: Frogs! Fucking frogs! There will be frogs everywhere!
Pharaoh: Are they...poisonous frogs?
Moses: No, they're not poisonous. Just, frogs. Hopping.
Pharaoh: I could kick them off me if I needed to?
Moses: You could, yes.
Pharaoh: Just a lot of frogs?
Moses: Just a lot of frogs, everywhere--whatever, look--9 out of 10 of those are badass okay.
Pharaoh: I still don't really understand the whole frog thing?
Moses: Look, it's not me. I don't know what to tell you. Let us go or there will be frogs, okay. A lot of frogs. Hopping everywhere.
Pharaoh: That's the best you could come up with?
Moses: It's not me! I told him the frog thing was dumb.
Pharaoh: Do they even have teeth?
Moses: They've got that tongue, I don't know.
Pharaoh: That tongue is pretty cool.
Moses: It is pretty cool. You're missing the point here. Blood, disease, the slaying of the first born!
Pharaoh: And frogs.
Moses: You're focusing on the frog thing too much! All that other shit is really bad.
Pharaoh: All they do is hop.
Moses: I don't know what to tell you.
Pharaoh: Toads would be cooler.
Moses: Toads would be coo--What the fuck are you talking about? It's not a cool thing! It's scary okay.
Pharaoh: I'm just saying, I'd rather have toads than frogs.
Moses: I don't care what you want! Will you let my people free?
Pharaoh: Will you make it toads instead of frogs?
Moses: There is no compromising here! It's frogs.
Pharaoh: Then your people stay.