Sunday, June 7, 2009

If I Were Ruler Of The Insect World

Butterflies will change their name to Clogged-Artery Flies

Moths will be known as I Can't Believe it's Not Butterflies

Millipedes will finally be reunited with Vanillipedes 

Insects will have to light incense when having incest in sex.  

Spiders will-- aw, fuck it.  Kill them all.

Wasps will be forced to wear Banana Republic sweaters around their shoulders and go to Cape Cod in the summer.

Bumble Bees will be given an even gayer name, instead going by Feathery Plume Higgins Freckle Bees.

The only time the name Daddy Long Legs should ever be referenced, is when having sex with me.  Also appropriate: Dung Beetle.

Earthworms will be encased in a jar, and shoved up the vagina of a certain famous lady.  They will forever be known as, Urtha Kittworms.

Editors Note:  Had no idea she died this year.

Due to the recent economy, houseflies will become foreclosureflies.

Because of the popularity of Disney movies in the bug world, all Ladybugs will get Tramp-stamps.

The female praying mantis will no longer decapitate and eat the male praying mantis after reproduction, realizing that marriage is a far more painful way to die.

Mosquitos will no longer be bloodsuckers when they realize that people already have Fox News.

No comments:

Post a Comment