Sunday, June 21, 2009

Charles Darwin and His Oven-Mitt Slap of Importance

                                   Don't Make Libby Angry

Every now and then, this blog will have a piece called Charles Darwin and his Oven-Mitt Slap of Importance (much like the title above).  This is a little wake-up call for those who seem to be traveling in the opposite direction of Chuck D's theory on Natural Selection, and bringing all the rest of us down with them.

Today's Oven-Mitt Slap of Importance goes to none other than the famous Jon and Kate from that show, Jon and Kate Plus a Loose Vagina.  

Time and time again these two people have managed to show the world just how stupid human beings really are.   But they can't take all of the credit--oh no.  News networks, tabloids, this is as much yours as it is theirs, perhaps more-so.  Sure there is some shit going down in Iran, but really, who cares?  I heard Jon gave herpes to six of the eight children.  And what happened to the two that got away?  Well, according to hourly coverage from CNN, one has divorced from the family and moved into a Swedish Kibbutz, while the other has actually climbed back into Kate's cavernous vagina to have some alone time and try to complete a full sentence.  

So here's to Jon and Kate.  Well done, you two.  Where would we be without you and your constant bickering in our lives?

And more importantly, thank you News Industry.  You have once again proven to the rest of the world that we really only have the intelligence of a small squid, if that.  

Survival of the fittest can be put on hold for the time being.  I hear Jon has been sleeping with a transvestite with dandruff.  Kate better get her head out of Larry King's asshole long enough to give a response.

Wait--Anyone in Iran have eight kids?

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