Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bumblebee Tuna Fish: Match Made in Pussy Heaven

To get back into the swing of things I thought I would return to an idea I've been thinking more about as of late.  I briefly mentioned my thoughts on bumblebees in an earlier post, and have had some more time to think about them and their situation.

In all reality, these bugs really have been given the shaft in almost every way possible.  So it seems only fitting that bumblebees would be associated with tuna fish.  Really, it's a genius marketing move.  Maybe the best one ever.  Here we have the most emaciated bug being paired with the most emaciated fish.  

Really, what more could we possibly do to the tuna fish?  We take them out of the ocean--their natural environment, where they live--with giant nets, chop up their cunty smelling insides and stick them in a can.  Then, to add insult to injury, just to give them one last dig, we actually add water to the can.  Because fish need water.  Then we mix it with mayonnaise--pure fat in the lardiest sense possible--and feed it to shitty little children so they will shut up.  All of this for around 2 dollars.

We even eat it raw.  At least with cows they are like "Okay, sure you can cook us, but theres a line.  You cross it and your fucked.  You eat us raw, serious shits gonna go down.  There's bacteria and e coli, you can fucking die from eating us raw.  So have your field day with us in the oven, that's great, but there are boundaries.  Learn them."  This was of course translated from the original text "Moo, moo.  Moo.  Moo, moo.  Moooo, moooo, moo.  *Shit*."

But with tuna, they're just like "Um..theres high levels of mercury in it."  And really, how bad could that be?  After having anal or oral sex, I'd be able to look at my dick and tell you your temperature.  Hmm, you're a little below normal, you feeling alright?

I still eat it anyway.

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