Monday, June 29, 2009

Audience Doesn't Clap, Lets Tinkerbell Die

Audience members decided to take control of an elementary school production of "Peter Pan" in Miami, Florida.  As Tinkerbell, played by 5 year old Rachel, slowly grew closer to her death, Peter Pan quickly sprung to the audience. 

"If you believe in fairies clap your hands!"

The  audience did not budge.  There was an awkward silence among the two performers on the stage.  

"She was really quite annoying" Said one viewer of the performance.

"I was actually happy when she died.  I thought maybe this play would start getting good.  Then she pulls that clapping shit.  We all gasped at the thought of her coming back.  She was dreadful.  I think I speak for everyone in the audience, when I say we just didn't care about the stupid fairy."

According to Rachel's older brother "She sucked." 

Rachel's parents could not be reached but issued the following statement:

"We are deeply saddened by Rachel's performance.  We would have clapped had we been there, but we had already attended two dress rehearsals and really don't know how much more of that goddamn play a person can take before they gouge out their eyes and genitalia."

As Pan's request for applause was met with silence, Tinkerbell just pretended to be dead in the corner of the stage while the rest of the show continued on.

"From that point on, her acting got a lot better.  I think she'd be good at improv."

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